Recipes Information

Assertiveness: Key to Better Parenting


I have always been aware of my number one weakness: non-assertiveness. But I have come a long way from the time when I couldn't say 'no' to a child molester and not understanding the importance of telling my parents.

At my first job after high school, I had the misfortune of working for someone who told me that I could have it all but with no questions asked. He said so clearly that there were women who slept their way up and I could do the same. He then started to hold me tightly and was already groping all over. I was too stunned to move in the beginning but I did try to push him away. Luckily for me, a security guard walked into the office.

Some guardian angels must be looking out for me. On both incidents, I could have been a statistic. I didn't have the courage to tell anyone but I made a promise to myself that if I should ever climb the corporate ladder, I would do it with my brains.

Unfortunately, my parents didn't have the extra money to put me through four years of university. I worked as a tutor to three kids throughout my tertiary years and with a scholarship loan, I managed to finish my degree in journalism with a second class upper.

I took on the first job that came my way: as a seminar organizer. Again the same old pattern emerged. For six months my boss didn't contribute to my retirement account. I was not aware that it was unlawful. Then she made me answer calls from all the speakers I had invited to give seminars for payments due to them. She had purposely delayed paying them for reasons only known to her. I couldn't see a good future with her, so I quit.

Many of my course mates had joined the newspaper and there was an opening for a cub reporter. I got in and was learning the ropes pretty well at the news desk. Six months later, I was transferred to the features desk.

It was all rosy in the first year and because I was getting familiarized with the work and all, I gladly took on anything that came my way. Not such a smart move really. Whenever my editor asked for a volunteer for some uninteresting articles, no one would do it. And because I had set the pattern for being the obliging one, or rather the one who couldn't say 'no' most of the time, I had to do the assignments. I had never asked for extension of deadlines and I was also the "secretary" who took phone messages for the others. When the time came for assessment and salary increments, I was not the favoured staff. After two agonizing weeks, I finally plucked up enough courage to speak to my editor about it. She merely said: "I was happy with your work. All I did was to recommend (the increments) but really, it was up to the management to decide!"

Would you stay on with a leader who wouldn't stick up for you? I asked for a transfer to the business desk where its editor was a known task master but fair and just.

Six years later, I found myself in a greater challenge. My five-year old daughter was a victim of a class bully at her kindergarten. From the many books on bullying that I read about, I had gathered that so long as the victims were not coached to be assertive and helped to build their self-esteem, the chances of them remaining victims continued into adulthood.

Since then, I have been trying to help my daughter increase her self-esteem. One of the many ways I learnt is to teach a child to love herself. Well, we are still working on her remembering to say: "I love you Mummy. And I love myself too."

I knew repeating this mantra would only help for awhile. One evening driving through a heavy traffic I made up a story to entertain my kids. It was about a six-year old girl named Lulu who would do anything for her friends because she wanted to be liked by them. Lulu didn't like herself much because she didn't think her kind-heartedness amounted much. "Now, if you were Lulu, do you suppose your friends would like you if you didn't like yourself in the first place?" I asked my children.

I was surprised even my two and half year old boy simultaneously replied no with his sister.

The story continued with Lulu being asked to pick some fruits from a tree by her friends. As she was climbing up the tree, fiery red ants bit her all over. But because she feared rejection from the others if she quit, she carried on. When she started to yank a bunch of fruits from a branch, she inadvertently dropped a beehive onto the ground.

The story ended with Lulu being hospitalized for bee stings but she learnt an unforgettable lesson about self-love and being assertive.

Now whenever my daughter needs a reminder about self-love, all I need to mention is Lulu.

Pat is a freelance journalist and a mother of two lovely kids. She enjoys writing and sharing her experience of being a mother. You can read more of her writings at KlinikOng.com


MORE RESOURCES:
This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news


fox4kc.com

Twists on classic Thanksgiving recipes
fox4kc.com
KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- If you're sick of the classic Thanksgiving dishes, chef Toby Freeland of L'Ecole Culinaire has come up with a few recipes you'll likely enjoy. Whether you're looking to add some flavor to your sides or desserts, there's an option ...



Boston.com

10 local chefs share their Thanksgiving side dish recipes
Boston.com
Pulse all of the ingredients together in a food processor and drizzle in the finishing oil. Scrape the sides of the bowl and pulse again until smooth. Season with salt, pepper and vinegar/lemon. Serve the dip with toasted bread. This recipe serves 3-4 ...

and more »


WABC-TV

13 Must-Try Recipes for a Thankful Turkey Day Dinner
WABC-TV
Each of these versatile Thanksgiving recipes are easy to make and are sure to keep your guests happy! 1. Holiday Sangria Cheers to one of the best meals of the year with this Holiday Sangria! (via Babble) Image source: Brooke McLay 2. Cranberry Glazed ...

and more »


Washington Post

From onion casserole to sticky rice stuffing, our readers' Thanksgiving family recipes tell a story
Washington Post
Thanksgiving is about giving thanks, but it is also about sharing — stories, traditions and, of course, food. The individual recipes that stand out in the day's feast often tell a story about our own heritage, beyond turkey and mashed potatoes. We ...



Aiken Standard

Google Trends Data, McCormick Recipes bring to life American 'Friendsgiving'
The Harlan Daily Enterprise
“Instead of focusing on stuffing and green beans – our test kitchens picked the most interesting recipes rising Friendsgiving week, like a pressure-cooked turkey breast, cheesy potatoes and chocolate gravy,” said Chef Kevan Vetter of the McCormick ...
Four recipes put those Thanksgiving leftovers to good useAiken Standard
Most-searched Thanksgiving recipes in each stateCT Post
Salinas Californian editorial staff share their favorite Thanksgiving recipesThe Salinas Californian
Evansville Courier & Press -PR Daily -San Diego Entertainer Magazine
all 385 news articles »


Well+Good

These are the top 9 holiday recipes, according to Pinterest
Well+Good
While accommodating your Paleo cousin, your brother's vegan girlfriend, and your own gluten sensitivity might seem daunting at first, your favorite digital location for recipe inspo is here to the rescue. You guessed it: Pinterest. Earlier this year ...



City Pages

Local chefs share their show-stopping (and fairly foolproof!) Thanksgiving recipes
City Pages
The only thing that could make it more magical is if you had, say, a trio of recipes from notable local chefs with which to utterly wow friends and family this Thanksgiving. Oh wait, you like, totally do -- you clicked this headline, you get it. Below ...



Evansville Courier & Press

Staff Recipes: Beef Stroganoff
Evansville Courier & Press
This isn't strictly a holiday recipe, but it's one I enjoy during the winter months because it's my version of comfort food on a cold day. It's also the first recipe my wife ever taught me, and I can do a pretty good job with it now, all things ...



The Hutchinson News

Here's to keeping traditions and traditonal recipes, for a change
The Hutchinson News
I like to play with my food. Mostly I mean “playing” in the abstract sense, exploring flavor combinations and involved techniques and unusual dishes. Although yes, I do appreciate messy foods. Specific recipes that I've made more than once are ...



NPR

Three Thanksgiving-Inspired Recipes From Blue Apron : The Salt ...
NPR
NPR's Michel Martin takes a peek into the Blue Apron test kitchen and speaks with the company's culinary director, Christopher Sorensen, for ideas on what to ...

and more »

Google News

home | site map
© 2006